"I am Not my Hair!"

You can shave it off like a South African beauty, Or get in on lock like Bob Marley, You can rock it straight like Oprah Winfrey, it's not what's on your head, it's what's underneath, and say, I am not my hair - India Arie

     Painkillers. Check! Phone battery full to listen to music, tweet, browse and ping the pain away. Check! Mentally and physically prepared. Check! Well, you might be wondering what I’m going on and on about abi? It’s the torture every woman who braids her hair goes through. It's worse at times when you can't use your phone as planned as your hands are busy dividing the hair (Xpression Ultra Braid) for the braider to braid or the braiding lady outsources two other braiding ladies and they are on top of your head, gossiping while forgetting it’s your hair they are pulling when they start hi-5ing each other. After 3 hours or 4 hours of all that, the hair will go through fire and hot water as a  means of getting the hair trimmed. Finally, they pull your hair back, and dab a hot towel on your scalp. You leave the hair dresser's place with your eyes looking all Chinese from the pulling, your hairline slowly fading and you want to kill someone.

     Getting one’s hair braided is really not a fun experience it takes a whole lot of time, if you are not so patient and without the ability to stand much pain and also the stress of taking the braids out after it has stayed it tenor then you should seek other alternatives, like me. Because of this rigorous process, i decided to stay off braids. For the past 7years I have been either on sewed in weaves or  on my natural hair never braids.     

     Just this week i finally got my hair braided (*gasp*, I know a bunch of you who know me are like, whaaaaat???) Yes o! wanted to take a break from combing hair for a change. I have gone through the fire and brimstone part, So now that I have my braids done, I'm looking forward to exploring new and interesting ways of styling and rocking it with pride.

Season's Greetings peeps!

India Arie

India Arie

My Man Has Two Jobs!

"if wishes were dresses, my closet would be full"

     There are times at the work when I just feel like screaming just to let off steam. Usually when I have had it up to here. Then I'd wish I could say like Rochelle of Everybody Hates Chris “Hey! I don’t need this, My man has two jobs!” *flip hair and storm out*. Though I hate to break it to Rochelle because bragging about her man having two jobs wasn't a good thing in her case since even with his two jobs they were struggling to make ends meet.

     Nevertheless,  I just love the way she says it. The pride in her voice with her head held up high trying to pass across the message that its not a do or die affair, the job is just on the side hence she doesn't really need it and so she can quit at anytime. I can just imagine how good it feels saying it. If you do not know her actual predicament (just like the person she is speaking to) you will actually envy her. Lolz.

To Confuse You and Not To Convince You

That moment in an exam when I'm writing and writing but on the inside I'm like i don't even know what i'm doing. Yea right! I'm trying to convince them in every way i can, even if it means enlarging my hand-writing so that the exam sheet doesn't look empty or repeating the points i have made previously by rephrasing them, If you can't convince them, confuse them!! *never say die* That's the spirit. This has always worked for me sha.
This is definately not an option. Haba!

i guess its exam fever

Ehen! this is more like it...Looolz 

Marking scripts no be easy thing o! especially when its theory and not objective, you see various kinds of hand-writings, spellings, grammar and gbagauns that give you headache.
With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you, lol.

Fellow Nigerians

"Arise O' Compatriots!"

Just looking at my phone this morning and seeing "Oct 1"made my heart start pounding, anxiety .... mehn! this year is almost over.
Happy Birthday Nigeria. Older! I'll take a rain check on wiser. 53years of trying to make it work. Is it working? or have we lost the plot? i don't want to whining about what is and ought to be in this nation cos it could have been worse than it actually is so I'm thankful.
Sent from my desk® at work :(

Thanks for Coming

"To all our invitees and the "mogbo-mo yas",thank you, E se pupo, Daalu, Nagwode,ati bee bee lo!"

Eku inawo! Meaning Happy Money Spending! ...Nigerians especially the Yorubas are fond of “owambeing” (partying). I remember this funny song by Tunde and Wunmi Obe, it goes something like this *singing* efun mi ni ounje, a ti fresh fish, saki and pomo ati stock fish, pelu moimoi, coleslaw, small soft, salad, puff puff, samosa, ema je ki o poju, i dey wash my weight, E ku orire, eku inawo, ese party, mo gbo , mo ya...

Giving gifts at parties as souvenirs is our culture, At a real Nigerian party you will also always see the guests leaving with some type of personalized gift for domestic chores or living. After more and more parties, our house is stocked with cups, food coolers, cloth bags, towels, bowls, plates, trays, pens, torch-lights, notebooks, jotters, slippers, key-holders to mention a few. All covered in stickers commemorating the celebrants. I have come across some brow raising souvenirs like a single pack of spagethi?? A single pack of indomie noodles, haba?!?! Now to the latest I saw on twitter *drum rolls*

Why do Nigerians do this? So money is now given as souvenirs? Kilode? Ogini?

Over-analysis.Com

"I'm only responsible for what i say or do not for what you understand"
 

Geez!!  must everything have an underlying meaning?!?!? Working with mostly men is definitely easier. Men seem to be a little more straightforward and take things at face value but women seem to read
something into every little statement that is made. The difference between us is, in most situations women tend to see a shade of grey (for e.g. “but what if by saying or doing that he means this?”) and then we drawn our conclusion based on our observation plus hearsay at times, guys see it as either black or white. We analyze every expression or gesture, nothing is overlooked.   Then we talk about it behind each others back and hold grudges. I could be wrong. I could be projecting. Or I could just be reading more into it, you tell me :)

I'm Back...

No matter how bad you think you are, you are not useless ...You can can still be used as a bad example for others to learn from.

*clears throat and removes cobwebs*
My people! how una dey? its been a while, the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak, if procrastination was an Olympic sport I'd compete in it later. Lolz. The pass months have been very eventful. I added a year to my age in the past months too and i feel really old. Well, i see no reason to act my age sha :) i don't care if you think I'm abnormal, strange, weird, crazy, insane odd & bizarre, Life is too short to be normal.....

That Stuff on Your Head!

Let all things be done decently and in order - 1 Cor 14:40

What is it with Nigerian women in particular and their massive head ties? The thing really annoys me, especially when they wear it to Church. One Sunday I went to Church, there were two women sitting in front of me wearing their head tie; one directly in front of me and the other in front of her. At first it didn't really bother me as it was during praise and worship and we were dancing and moving about so I could still see past their head ties. Then, when praise and worship finished and we all sat down for the preaching and other things, to see past this woman's head tie was a problem. Believe me, I was boiling with annoyance inside of me. I came to Church to receive the word of God and this woman's head tie was blocking it. It's not even like I'm short, I'm tall enough, yet this woman still managed to make sure nobody behind her could see past her head tie!

OK, fine!!

I looked around to see if there were any seats that I could move to. Surprisingly, a Church that normally is not so full and would definitely have seats left, had no seat left! I said to myself, "Devil, you are a big liar! No head tie fashioned against me shall prosper!" I had to bend sideways and stretch my neck in all directions, just to see if I could see past her 'mobile house'. Finally, I managed to see past the woman sitting in front of me, but of course 'Mama d'law' sitting in front of her was wearing an even bigger one in bright pink. If you have ever watched a Nigerian film called 'Akirika' where Ngozi Nwosu wore a massive head tie and had to put it in the boot of the cab she took because she and the head tie couldn't fit in the car while it was still on her head, then you'd know the kind of head tie Mama d'law wore to to church. Till today I'm not too sure of what pastor preached that day because I was so annoyed and I eventually gave up trying to see as my neck and back started to ache. When the pastor is preaching, I like to see who is speaking and his/her body language; it helps me pay attention and understand him/her better (I'm just like that, it may be weird to you but anyway...).

Honestly, I had a strong urge to remove the thing from both their heads by myself. I sat throughout the service staring at the green and brown head tie in front of me. I feel sorry for whoever was sitting behind me as they too probably couldn't see behind the two head ties and my head moving around trying to see past them.

I found it funny and interesting after reading this on a blog that i decided to share because it communicates exactly what i experienced on the grand finale of our women's convention in church too. 

Always, always, always…

"Gratitude turns what we have into enough..."

i

I am thankful for....

• The taxes i pay because it means I am employed.
• The clothes that fits a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat. 
• My shadow who watches  me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
• The room that has to be arranged, windows that have to be washed and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
• All the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.
• The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.
• The huge piles of dishes in the kitchen sink because it means my loved ones are nearby.
• The alarm that goes off in the early morning  hours because it means that I'm alive.

Happy Sunday! Have a great week ahead! *winks*

Letter To A Certified Ata - Wewe

Dear Ata-Wewe,

Don't look too surprised at this, you know yourself. Okay, let me break it down for the "Non-Yoruba-Ata-Wewes".Ata is the generic term for chile pepper among the Yorubas in Nigeria, depending on the type or form of pepper there are other term like Ata gungun, Ata rodo, ata dindin thats all i can remember for now. Am sure you know the importance of pepper in food, now imagine the hazardous effect when it's used in excess. Ata-Wewe is a human sized pepper that is out of proportion. it's mostly in a packaged as a female -woman, lady or girl The white man would call you a "Drama Queen"

Sometimes it seems like your only goal in life is to make other people’s lives miserable.You tends to attack other people (women especially) in a more cutting, evil, manipulative, sarcastic way  that causes a lot of the damage. You are very passionate about how you feels and you communicate this exuberance in a magnified way that can be out-of-proportion to the situation at-hand.

Your other personality characteristics include extreme sensitivity, jumping to negative conclusions, thinking the worst about everything, moody, overreacting, taking things out of context, impulsive, flamboyant,  catastrophic (blowing things out of proportion, dramatizing, complaining, nagging, creating worst-case scenarios and basing your decisions off of these judgments), mind-reading (assuming you know what others are thinking without having the evidence to back it up), black-and-white thinking (thinking in all/nothing and either/or terms), and overgeneralizing (making sweeping judgments about something or someone, using such words as always, never, everybody, and nobody) sly , envious, tricky and the list goes on and on.

Immediately you walk into a room its like there is a sign that says "Caution! Certified Ata-Wewe Ahead". Any one that values his or her sanity avoids you like a plague or he or she'll never have a minute's peace. I can only hope that there is actually a cure for "Ata-Wewe Syndrome". it would really make the world a better place.

                                                                        Most sincerely,
                                                                       Concerned Citizen.

Consequences.....

 "Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich." - Daffy Duck

Do you ever wonder how much different life would be if consequences were more immediate?

Too much meat for dinner? Immediate heart-attack.

Not enough calcium? Turn into a boneless bag of flesh.

How much easier would it make parenting at times?

“Eat your vegetables, or your teeth will fall out before you have a chance to brush them!”

Woot! Instant fear-obedience.

Satan led Ananias and Sapphira "to lie to the Holy Ghost". This means they lied to God. Ananias and Sapphira were singing "I Surrender All," but they were lying. They wanted others to think they were very spiritual but they were just pretending, so God killed them. Can you imagine if God was to strike dead all the religious deceivers in our churches today? It was a shocking experience, but look at the good that followed – "great fear came on all them that heard these things". This fear of God is sadly missing today

Every now and then I will hear some one say they like the God of the New Testament but they do not like the God of the Old Testament. How foolish! The God of the OT is the same God of the NT. "For I am the LORD, I change not". You may be thinking, "How could God kill two Christians?" Just as easily as He can kill two non-Christians! This is God’s universe. God created us. God can do whatever He pleases. We are breathing His air, eating His food, and living on His planet.

If the Spirit of God were working in that way today, what a lot of work there would be for the undertakers! There would not be enough of them in any of our cities to bury those who dropped dead!" So many come up to the altar on Sunday morning but by Sunday afternoon it’s back to their worldly ways.We need to be honest with God, if we haven’t been genuine, we need to get that right today.

Happy Harmattan!

As our people say: onye arachaghi onu ya uguru, ga rachaara ya. If one does not lick his lips, harmattan will lick it for him

Happy Valentines Day! Happy easter! Happy workers day! Happy Democracy Day!  Happy Independence Day!Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! and now "Happy Harmattan!" Lolz. Its been a year and some days since i last posted on this blog - can't even remember what my excuse is sef. Well am back and i hope to stay in touch.

It’s that time of the year when the air is cold and dry. It’s the period of dusty surfaces and dusty feet. It’s the time when taking my bath with cold water is a feat. It’s when my lips become dry and cracked if I lick them too much but I always have the urge to lick them. It’s the time of morning fogs, sunny & windy afternoons - the hot and cold feeling and cold evening breezes. A time to wear the clothes I avoided all year round for fear of sweating. It’s the time when my make-up stays on for a whole day if I wanted; the period when i always have the conversation below:

"I really can't stay baby"
"But baby, it's cold outside"
"I gotta go"
"5 more minutes?"
-Me, and my bed every morning on harmattan days. *Even right now*

It really feels good doing this again!
Gotta go! Geezzzz! Mogbe! I'm already late for work!